


You're a Good Man

by Cfr749



Category: The Rookie (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Feelings Realization, Revelations, Tucy, Unresolved Sexual Tension, chenford
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 05:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30067467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cfr749/pseuds/Cfr749
Summary: Post #3x06. Tim’s confrontation with Mack’s wife, Beth leads to him doubting himself and eventually to an emotional and mutually vulnerable moment with Lucy that finally brings some feelings to the surface. Assumes Rachel and Tim have called it quits due to the distance.
Relationships: Tim Bradford & Lucy Chen, Tim Bradford/Lucy Chen
Comments: 16
Kudos: 75
Collections: The Rookie Mid-Season Madness





	You're a Good Man

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy and would love to know what you think!

Lucy’s heart feels like it’s cracking into pieces as she listens to Tim recount the tough decision he’d made to turn Mack in and the painful confrontation he’d had with Beth after shift. The air in their shop had been heavy and tense with his mood for days. She is grateful he is finally opening up, but is also heartbroken that he’s been sitting with this and carrying so much misplaced blame and guilt for days.

As they reach the parking garage, their vehicles are two of the sparse few that remain on this level so long after shift has ended. Tim stops walking. Lucy turns to face him, and she sees his struggle to get his next words out. The look of sheer vulnerability on his usually stony-faced countenance tugs at something deep within Lucy.

“I just can’t help but think… maybe ... maybe she’s right… maybe  _ you _ were right - maybe I don’t have a code… maybe I am just a complete hypocrite. I’ve always seen myself as someone who is principled and who tries to do the right thing, to make the right decisions, even in impossible situations, but now, I don’t know anymore. Maybe I’m not that person, maybe I do just claim a code when it serves me personally…”

Lucy freezes, recalling the words she had said to him in the heat of the moment after Tim had called her out for not reporting his “suicide ideations” in the quarantine house.  _ You know what? You wanna rake me over the coals for the next 6 months, you go ahead, but don’t pretend it’s because you’ve got some code.  _ She had said them out of anger and confusion, hurt by Tim’s sudden and unexplained shift toward her that day. Her intent hadn’t been to question his integrity; she had just wanted an honest answer for why a brick wall had suddenly appeared between them when he returned to work and why he was working so hard to keep her at arm’s length.

Those words now weigh heavily on her as she realizes how long he has carried them and how deeply they must have impacted him if they are resurfacing now, commingling with the fresh wounds Beth has inflicted. She can’t bear to see so much vulnerability and pain in his normally self-assured and confident features, especially now knowing she herself had seeded some of the doubt, however unintended. 

“Tim, no. That’s not it - that not what I meant at all.” She’s moving without realizing it, closing the distance between them. She angles her head so she’s looking directly up into his eyes, and she immediately notices the tension under her fingers as her left hand comes to rest on his chest. She freezes, suddenly realizing the precariousness, the novelty, of their sudden closeness. Her instinctual need to comfort and reassure him has completely overridden the logical and mortified voice in the back of her head demanding to know what she thinks she is doing, begging her to abort and get the hell out of that garage. 

She registers that his eyes widen briefly in shock, but quickly return to normal in line with his typical instinct to neutralize any emotional expression that may expose what he’s actually feeling. He’s still tense, but she notices that he hasn’t moved away from her, hasn’t pulled away from her touch. And his eyes have remained locked on hers, waiting for what she has to say, waiting for what she might do. 

Her instincts win out over her uncertainty and insecurity, as her right hand gently finds a place on his cheek. This is important - she needs him to believe, to feel how much she means her next words, “Tim... I need you to hear me.. that’s just not true. That isn’t what I think at all. It actually could not be further from the truth.” Her eyes drop briefly, as her senses are overwhelmed by the intensity of being so physically and emotionally close to him. She takes a deep breath, steeling herself before meeting his gaze again, “You are a good man, Tim. One of the best, if not  _ the best _ , that I know.”

  
She sees it again, the brief flicker of surprise paired with other unreadable emotions as he processes her words. Her voice cracks with emotion and her eyes well with tears, “I just wish I could make you see you how I see you, make you understand how wrong you are about this.”

He’s stunned by the sheer rawness of emotion in her response, her earnestness, and how he can practically physically feel the deep care she has for him radiating off of her in waves. But he shouldn’t be - this is her. It’s always been her,  _ his Lucy.  _ She is deeply empathetic, deeply authentic and her pull is magnetic. He finds his hand mirroring her own as it finds her face; the other finding the small of her back to pull her closer into him as he’s leaning closer into her, her heeled boots making it easier for his forehead to find hers, so close he can physically feel the shudder of her own breath as she inhales in surprise at him being the one to initiate even more physical closeness between them.

His eyes find her lips as she finds her next words. Her voice trembling with emotion and just barely above a whisper, “Tim... I just -- I … wish you could see how much you mean to me.”

Alarm bells are going off in his head as he processes her words that are tepidly tiptoeing beyond just comforting an upset colleague, an upset partner after a rough day. He’s feeling overwhelmed by her touch, her scent, her physical closeness and warmth, and all of the emotions flooding him that have been lying dormant just below the surface for months.

If he had been being honest with himself, this wouldn’t be such an unexpected shock to him. But of course, Tim being Tim, he had compartmentalized away all things Lucy as any good TO would do. 

Yes, she was objectively attractive, that was simply a fact. Beyond that, yes, on day 1 in roll call when she’d turned to put her eyes on her new TO, yes, he’d felt something stir as he processed that not only was she objectively attractive, she was extremely physically attractive to him personally. But it had ended there - she was his rookie and he was still technically married. It was an entirely irrelevant acknowledgement of fact.

Then came the emotional attraction. The undeniably  _ Lucy  _ way she could see right through him and wasn’t afraid to push back on his tough TO exterior. Not only did he find himself opening up and sharing intimate details about his life, his marriage, his time in the service that he normally wouldn’t voluntarily share with anyone, even at gunpoint, but he found himself  _ wanting _ to share those things with her,  _ wanting _ to bring her further and further into his life.

He first became aware of the shift in their relationship at the quarantine house -- her intense concern for him through that door; his need to reassure  _ her _ that it would be okay even when it was his life that hung in the balance. It was the way their eyes immediately found each others when the door finally opened and the way that she refused to leave his side as soon as she was allowed to accompany him to the hospital. Compartmentalized or not, he had felt the attachment between them shifting and he knew he couldn’t properly train her if he didn’t proactively shut it down by forcing some distance between them. 

Finally, there was the inexplicable and almost infuriating level of protectiveness he felt toward her, despite knowing how perfectly capable she was of taking care of herself, being perfectly clear that she did not need saving. Yes, of course, as a TO, he felt it was his personal responsibility to keep all of his rookies safe. But he knew this was different - Lucy had gotten under his skin. The overwhelming fear for her life knocking him down in a way that he hadn’t realized was possible when she was taken by Caleb. When he hadn’t been able to bring himself to leave her side all night in the hospital, just needing to know at every moment that she was okay, that she was safe. The visceral dread that overcame and angered him when he realized she was serious about pursuing UC work. 

So yeah, the sudden revelation of how intensely he felt about his rookie that was hitting him in this moment probably shouldn’t have been such a shock. But it was. Somehow, he’d managed to convince himself that all of these things, all of these feelings he had systematically suppressed were all just circumstance. It was logical, he’d told himself. Extreme events breed extreme emotions, right? And there had been no shortage of intense emotional events during Lucy’s rookie year to feed the flame. But facing her here, now, having her physically in his space in this way, looking up at him with her eyes somehow so open and hopeful and fearful and aggravating in the way they could see right through him all at once, he could feel all the excuses and lies he’d built to hold his Lucy compartment together falling away.

She is waiting for him to respond; her turn to look at him with an expression filled with vulnerability and self doubt. His eyes find her lips again, while simultaneously relishing in the physical closeness of her body to his, forehead to forehead. Inches, maybe even centimeters from crossing an impossible line that’s been walked like tight rope for months.  _ It would be so easy.  _

He swallows, gathering every ounce of his willpower, “Lucy...” And it feels like he is fighting the gravitational pull of the earth itself to not just give in and close the distance between their lips. The words physically pain him as he forces them out, “We can’t...”

And that’s all it takes, the moment is broken just like that. They’re still physically entwined but he doesn’t miss the light dimming out of her eyes before they dart quickly downward, breaking the intensity of their gaze. She’s pulling back from him, trying to recreate the physical distance between them, but he can’t let her go. He tightens the hold he has around her waist pulling her back toward him, their foreheads meeting again, and she lets him, knowing how hard it is for him to reach for her, reach for anyone in his moments of vulnerability. She honestly wonders if she’ll ever be able to deny him when he reaches for her in any way and she’s almost certain that it would be impossible for her.

He squeezes his eyes closed, slowly breathing in one more breath of her before opening his eyes and speaking, “Lucy, wait. Don’t.. .this is just… it’s a lot. And, it’s not that I don’t want to... God, you would not believe how much I want to ... we just...”

“Can’t...” she finishes for him as he trails off. She’s still looking up at him, her eyes perfectly conveying her sad resignation. 

On its own accord, his thumb brushes her lower lip, his body aching for the physical contact that his mind and his words are so vehemently contradicting.

“Lucy, our relationship is... you’re my rookie,” he says, his face physically contorting as he says the last word as if it physically pains him. “I can’t take advantage of this situation. I won’t take advantage of  _ you _ .”

Lucy can’t stop herself from jerking back slightly at his words, feeling herself gearing up to immediately reject his assertion that he would ever take advantage of her, that she would allow herself to be taken advantage of. She wants to argue, convince him he could not be more wrong, and that it’s because of who he is -- his principles, his commitment to being on the right side of things that she just knows this is true in her very core. But she also realizes it’s for these very same reasons that Tim cannot let himself cross this line. It’s simply who he is, at his very core... 

And deep down, she knows he’s right. She bites her lip and drops her eyes as she holds back her rejection of his assertion. The fact that she trusts him unconditionally doesn’t change the complexity of their situation, the complexity of a version of a situation she has already lived through once, and the complexity of their Rookie - TO relationship.

He’s lifting her chin then, forcing her eyes to meet his again. His eyes are gentle, pleading, “ I --  _ If  _ we do this -- if we go down this path, I just want to make sure we give ourselves enough time to have a clear perspective. I want to make sure we do this the right way. Despite what my Tim tests may have led you to believe, everything I do is to make you a better cop.” He swallows hard, “Lucy, I would never willingly do anything to hurt you or your career.”

She feels it then - the weight those words carry, the weight on his shoulders to protect her at all costs. And it fills her up, knowing how much he cares about her future in the department, how much he cares about her as a person. Yes, of course she’s disappointed that they can’t throw caution to the wind and give in to the electricity crackling between them, the gravitational force begging for her to just launch herself at him in this public parking garage. But she’s also surprised to find she doesn’t feel rejected. Instead, she feels respected, valued and cared for in a way that is just so uniquely  _ Tim Bradford _ . Not breaking eye contact she tilts her head and nods as he continues, letting him know that she gets it.

She leans back further so she can fully see his face, a sparkle returning to her eyes, and her hand coming up to reclaim it’s spot on his chest. A teasing smirk transforms her serious features, “But you know, I have to say, I’m super curious, ‘God, you would not believe how much I want to…’? Want to what, exactly, Tim?” 

He feels heat rising to his cheeks as he nails her with one of his  _ Tim  _ looks, “I don’t know if I said those  _ exact _ words…Damn, you are aggravating.” They are both laughing as they each take a step back, disentangling from each other and returning to a normal conversational distance. 

Lucy continues playfully, eyes sparkling, “In fact, you know, can I get that in writing... in explicit... er, I mean, specific detail?”

“Well, that sounds like a surefire way to get me fired immediately. You aiming for a two-fer, Boot?” He teases, unable to suppress his own smirk and trademark roll of his eyes as her joyful laughter rings out into the emptiness of the thankfully still deserted parking garage. 

As they part to make their way to their own cars, Tim clears his throat, “Now, Boot, don’t think that any of this means you don’t need to get in early tomorrow. Final stretch here is going to be the toughest yet and I expect all of it to be done in a sparkly clean shop.”

Lucy laughs and tosses her hair over her shoulder, “Mmmhmm… I would expect nothing less from you, Officer Bradford.” Pulling her keys out of her bag as she rounds the corner to her car, Lucy pauses, seriousness returning to her face for a brief moment, “Tim -- I need you to know. I meant what I said earlier -- you’re a good man and the situation with Mack, it wasn’t your fault. You did the right thing.“

Once again, he finds himself floored at the impact her words have on him, filling him up with warmth, edging out the doubt and guilt that had been consuming him mere moments before. He shakes his head in wonder at the fact that his Boot --  _ No _ , he mentally corrects himself — this woman,  _ Lucy, _ can so completely and totally affect him. He gives her a nod and one of his blink- and-you’ll-miss-it half smiles before looking her straight in the eye, “Thanks.”

As he climbs into his car, he tries not to focus too hard on that funny warm feeling that has been building in his stomach… It will have to go back into it’s compartment… for now, anyways... :)


End file.
